An Argument in Hauverstover

At a distant point in time years past, the duchy of Hauverstover was ruled by the Duke and Duchess Steinmauer. Gerhard Steinmauer had met a dark haired, blue eyed hellion named Elke Osterwald and had been totally smitten. Their courtship was a tempestuous one. Elke had led Gerhard on a merry chase before accepting a proposal of marriage.

When it became time to form an army for the defense of Hauverstover, the topic of uniform coloring had risen. Gerhard liked a white coat with blue pants, while Elke preferred a gray coat with dark red trousers. In a moment of compromise, a blend of blue and red was suggested for the trousers and a dark purple was adopted. Both Gerhard and Elke claimed this compromise as their own idea and had great fun over the years arguing about it. However, when it came to the coat coloring, neither would budge a bit.

Duke Gerhard was very close to making a proclamation that the Infantry dress would be white coats with purple trousers. He was in his study, drafting the order, when a quick tap on his shoulder redirected his attention. He turned to see Elke looking at him with a particularly mischievous glint in her eye.

"I have interesting news my dear stuffy old Duke!"

Gerhard just quirked an eyebrow, and awaited the announcement. The last time had been about gophers eating the tulip bulbs in the gardens and how a cute little rat-terrier would solve the problem. The dratted dog was constantly getting muddy paws on his boots.

"My love, you are going to be a father. I hope you are pleased."

The Duke was overwhelmed with emotion, and grabbed his wife for an embrace. They laughed and kissed and stared at each other, both delighted with the news.

"Elke my dear, this is so wonderful. May I grant you anything? The Moon? Just say the word! "

By this time, Elke had noticed the draft of the order. With a quick smile, "Gray Coats?"

The Duke smiled and wrote the following order. "On all odd numbered infantry regiments the standard dress will be a white coat with dark purple trousers. In honor to the duchess, the even numbered regiments will have gray jackets and dark purple trousers."

Over time the gray-coated regiments became known as The Duchess' Guard. That general order stands to this day.

A Lady Named Sally

She was a sweet curvy little machine painted racing blue. Her interior featured red leather bucket seats without frills. She wasn't made for high top end speed. She was lithe, agile and pounced from corner to corner.

A quick little tap on the brakes would set her turn angle. Then she could be driven by counter-lock steering and the accelerator pedal. She was a '58 Porsche 356A Coupe named Sally. She was parked and locked safely at the side of the street.

He went inside a favorite haunt for a quick beer. Then some drunk sumbitch plowed a half ton pickup into her side, killing her.

A China Doll

An exquisite rag doll with a china face was a gift for Beth's sixth birthday. Its facial features were hand painted, and its eyes were masterfully done. No matter which angle she looked at the doll, its eyes locked onto Beth's. Years of happy playtime passed until Beth grew into a young adult. She stored the doll away in a dark chest, forgetting about it.

Beth, now thirty four, opened the chest looking for something old, borrowed, or blue. As she picked up the doll to search underneath, china eyes locked onto hers. Beth shivered as there seemed to be palpable malice emanating from the doll. Hairline cracks appeared on the doll's eyes, followed by exploding china shards.

Beth was cast into darkness as two precisely placed shards claimed her vision.

A Day At Waterloo

The day had started spectacularly. The regiment marched in nice straight lines. Shoulder to shoulder strode young men eager for a fight. Shakos, uniforms, cross-belts and muskets gleamed in the sun. Sounds of battle grew closer; lips suddenly became very dry, throats closed.

The order came to deploy into line. Drums and bugles marked the cadence. A slow advance with arms at the ready. An officer screamed "Volley Fire!" Then the repeat of "FIRE!" Reach into the pouch, bite off the oiled paper and prime the pan. Pour the rest of the powder and ball down the musket barrel and ram it home. Take aim and fire again. Can't see because of all this blasted gun-smoke.

Men screaming, crashing cannon, smell of cordite, urine and blood assaults all senses. What lunacy is this, standing here like a cow for slaughter? "Keep firing!" Mates to the right and left both scream at the same time falling dead. He is sprayed with ichor, blood and gore. Napoleon is a pompous imbecile that doesn't care if his men live or die! "Keep firing! Close ranks! Make those shots count!"

Never again, if I get out of here, never again! After an interminable age it is over. The silence is overwhelming, his ears ring loudly in the cacophonies' pause. With trembling fingers he sweeps the Shako from his head and lets it fall. He absently notes the Shako has a bullet hole and is missing a piece of chin scale. There is a burning, stinging sensation along his left rib, but it is lost in the flood of dissipating adrenaline.

"Form Up! Form UP!" He grabs his Shako, musket and takes his place in line. Merde!

A Simple Drink

Cletus sat at his usual table slamming whiskey shots. His complexion was flushed red across his cheeks and bulbous nose, framing deep set rheumy pig eyes. His normal surly demeanor was getting more foul by the minute; he was spoiling for a fight. The tables nearest him were empty of patrons, they had seen this way too many times.

A horse and rider slowly emerged from a billowing dust cloud at the end of town. They were absolutely covered in thick layers of dust. The horse, rider, apparel and tack were all the same dingy tannish shade of brown. The cowboy dismounted in front of the saloon.

Clouds of dust kept coming off the man as he continued to ineffectually swat himself. Making sure that his horse could reach the water trough, Frank gratefully stepped into the saloon.

"Hey barkeep! I'll take a whiskey!" said Frank as he moved slowly and stiffly toward the bar. Frank plunked a dust-covered coin on the bar and eagerly started to lift the drink to his overly parched lips. WHAM! Something crashed into his shoulder, spilling the highly prized drink. Frank shook his head in disgust to the accompaniment of many more motes. Frank's eyes angrily focused on the ugly face of Cletus; intense mutual hatred blossomed immediately.

"Hell we don't serve your kind in here you filthy crap for brains rag bag." glared Cletus.

Frank turned to face Cletus, noticing the low-slung tied down holster.
"Your mother must have been some sow, pig eyes!" spat Frank.

Cletus made a fast move toward his gun. He was not prepared for the bullet that found its mark square between his eyes. Watching Cletus fall, Frank smoothly holstered his weapon, the only thing he owned that wasn't covered in dust.

"I'll have that drink now barkeep."

Linux Musings.

I like the Linux operating system. It has shown to be remarkably stable. It has reached a level of sophistication in the GUI where my parents feel at home. However there are several knocks against it. Here are my ideas about moving the chip forward as a real competitor to Windows.

1. Linux does not play games well. Here I have to agree, the Windows Direct X experience is much more suited to real-time shoot-em ups without any twiddling.

Are you able to play Windows games on Linux? Yes, but you have to use and configure an emulator. The most widely used one is Wine, and that is not for the faint of heart. My experience entailed several layers of frustration.

My suggestion is to create an emulator that recognizes and configures the Linux Video and Audio system settings to a game's requirements. Not exactly easy, but I am sure there are talented programmers out in the wild that can accomplish this task.

Now ask yourself an honest question, how many highly video intensive games are you playing? If your PC experience is built around a business, email, word processing, spreadsheets, contact lists, streaming video, instant messaging, etc, that is all built into Linux. Linux is more than competitive in this context.

2. There are too many branches of Linux to make it competitive. In my experience there are about four or five choices that perpetually remain at the top rankings of http://www.distrowatch.com Most of these are Debian based, all of them eventually use the same Linux Kernel. My suggestion is to look at the top five, stay with a Debian based repository. Debian is my personal preference because of the Apt and Synaptic installers. You have narrowed your choices down to two or three distributions (distros).

Ubuntu has a huge following, and uses the Gnome interface. I prefer Mepis because of the KDE interface and because Warren Woodword make the best installers going. His installation scripts are rock solid. My PC is 5 years old and the Mepis installation was smooth as silk. There were no errors at all. I was up and running in ~25 minutes.

Look at the distrowatch site. Find an implementation that suits your preferences. Download an ISO. Most of the main Linux distributions offer a Live CD ISO. These let you try the system before installing. The myriad of Linux Distros has just been reduced to one.

3. Did I mention that Linux offers tons of free software? I do not use Windows Office products anymore. I am using the Open Office suite of tools on XP as well. There are literally thousands of choices to retrieve. So look at what you have spent on an OS, Office Tools and other software and examine what could be saved in the long run. Do a Google on "Windows Linux Equivalent Applications" You will be amazed at what is offered.

This is a prime factor in considering Linux. Some of the Open Source applications have been ported to Windows now. I still believe that I have saved $1500 - $2000 USD in software that would have been purchased for Windows.

4. New software lags behind the development for Windows. Yes this is absolutely true, for example the Chrome browser only runs on XP and Vista. This is sheer market share. Windows is king right now. My opinion here is that MS does a great job on promotion, but not on implementation. XP has been pretty stable, but Vista has been less than stellar. Windows 7 is due out Q4 2009. My company has decided to fore go Vista and wait for Windows 7.

The main distros of Linux are a better quality product. The security of the system is better. Viral attacks are diminished, but again that is due to market share. Crackers simply do not target the Linux share as often as Windows. I believe that Linux is less susceptible to virii but no system is immune. The biggest factor holding Linux back is the lack of promotion. The question is how to convince a large audience to move from the Windows world?

Since Linux is an Open Source movement it will never be able to compete in an advertising competition with Microsoft. Two things must happen to allow a gain of market share.

A. Use word of mouth advertising, blogs, wikis, social media sites to increase awareness of the available option. If you are a Linux advocate, then learn how to present its merits to a person questioning your sanity quickly. Think about an "elevator nugget" or a 140 character limit on Twitter.

B. Use hardware dealers that allow a PC build out without an operating system. The consumer should actually get the PC for less money. However, there may be a very large collusion hurdle to overcome between MS, Intel and the Hardware supplier giants to achieve this cost reduction. One option is to look for the Mom and Pop shops that sell basic PC kits, if you are feeling adventurous or have access to a friendly PC hobbyist.

5. Warning

Finally, before you do anything to your system, backup important data! You should be doing that on a regular basis anyway. If you are not, why not? One good bolt of lightning will create some havoc that you don't really need. Trust me on this one, living in the Midwest, thunderstorms are common.

Do the necessary due diligence to understand installation procedures. Have a plan. Take notes as you go along. Do you know all of your passwords to various locations, or is the current OS "remembering" them for you? Make a list of these. Last but not least - RTFM - many people have spent hundreds of hours documenting the system of choice. Read it!

Futures - A new direction

Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? What do I want to be when I grow up? This last question is particularly meaningful. I have been in the IT sector since the mid 70's. When I was younger, I had a passion and flair for twiddling the bits and bytes. I was a damn fine programmer in Unix and C.

Now I have reached a stage where I rarely get to program. I run teams of application developers. I am the old fart that demands tight requirements and design. I make you do a design defense and code review periodically. I am the guy that demands yes, no or schedule impact answers in staff meetings. I am the guy that has learned to be dead honest with you and expects / demands the same in return.  I am the guy that feels your eyes roll as I walk away.

Back to the question, what do I want to be when I grow up? Not what I just described. There is no passion in it. What the hell am I waiting for? It is past time to take control and make the life changes desired. That is a freaking scary sentence.

Twitter and some chance meetings have given me a new passion, a new hope. This web site and blog are the beginnings. I have so many things to do now, but there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I have discovered a sense of naivete again. It is simultaneously frightening and exhilarating.

I have taken the first bite of the elephant, now to keep chewing. We will see where this goes.